3 Ways To Bring More Humanness To Your Parenting

When it comes to raising kids, you have to be your real, authentic, human self – yes, even the messy parts! Your child learn how to wholly human from you – and how we choose to show them what it means to embrace the humanness is what they will take with them into their adult life!

Check out the video below to learn how to bring more of your authentic self to your parenting!

No time to watch the video? Read the transcript below!

In today’s video, I’m going to be sharing with you three ways that you can bring more humanness to your parenting. The reason for sharing these tips: we all know, that no matter how great a parent you are, if you are not being true to yourself and authentic to your humanness, you are going to have a harder time doing the same for your children.

Start With Empathy

The first way that you can really begin to bring more humanness to your parenting is to start with empathy. I talk a lot about empathy! If you have been a follower of my blog for any amount of time, you know that empathy is my number one, most recommended parenting skill. When I talk about empathy, I’m not saying that you’re supposed to let everything go and not really talk things through. But what I’m talking about, number one is empathy for yourself. Having empathy for yourself and others allows us to recognize that it’s okay to be great and it’s okay to be not so great – when we leave space for our humanness it allows us space to also accept our children’s humanness!

It’s really good for you to have that empathy for yourself! Once you can see that you don’t always do everything great, and that you don’t always get it right 100% of the time, you can begin to look at other members of your family and say: “Hey, they’re just like me, they sometimes mess up, they sometimes have had barriers to their communication, they sometimes have a thought that doesn’t always make it out to what they’re trying to communicate. They sometimes have a feeling that’s not always expressed the best way.” Being able to have this awareness starts with you building empathy for yourself and seeing those things in yourself first; that way you’ll be able to see those same things with your family as well.

Start with giving yourself space to be wholly human by developing a self-empathy practice.

Be Aware of Your Emotional Range

The second thing that you can do to bring more humanness to your parenting is to really realize that there is an emotional range to every aspect of our lives. No one lives in all anger and no one lives in all happiness. We are all humans that vacillate between being really excited and really positive to sometimes being really negative and really depressed/sad. Nobody stays in those extremes indefinitely and our emotions are very temporary. Again, starting with that awareness for yourself will help you to bring more humanness to your parenting, so that way when you see your family, your partner, your child living in that emotional range, you’re able to say: “Hey, I understand that is because I have an emotional range too.  I too live in the fluidity of going from being positive to negative, sometimes in the same day, sometimes the same hour.” I think that really goes in line with that first step of starting with empathy; when you have that empathy for other people’s emotional range, as well as yourself, it kind of adds to that communication and that expression of feelings where we all know that we’re human, we have feelings. Sometimes they’re expressed in a healthy way and sometimes not. But we can all support each other and we can all be there for each other as we live that emotional range as we vacillate in our emotional range.

Another great piece to add to developing that understanding of emotional range is to watch the Disney movie, Inside Out. I highly suggest that if you don’t have that movie in your families’ movie library, to get it. But I think it’s really great thing to have in our families, because we can watch that movie and we can take the idea of emotions off of us and say: “What’s going on with Anger; what’s going on with Sadness; what’s going on with Fear; what’s going on for Riley.”  We can begin to have those discussions about what it looks like to have an emotional range. Which inevitably brings more humanness to how we express ourselves because we are watching these characters live in their emotions – live in that humanness – so we can also identify with it.

The awareness of your own emotional range and how your emotions vacillate between extremes humbly brings you back to your humanness.

Letting Go Of Black or White Thinking

Lastly, and this tip I think is just really healthy just in general, the idea of not having black or white thinking. When we move into the notion that nothing is 100% right and nothing is 100% wrong we are allowed to live in the grey area of life. Give space for this idea: our child’s meltdowns aren’t hundred percent wrong. Sometimes we are living in that grey area of should they be having a meltdown right now? Should they be feeling bad right now? Is this something that actually makes sense for where they are at in their life?  I truly believe that starting with ourselves first allows us to say: “Nothing that I do is 100% wrong and nothing that I do is 100% right. That sometimes I’m in the middle that gray area where I’m realizing that the things that I do are very circumstantial and are very based on what’s going on in my environment.” Giving space for these kinds of statements is crucial to being curious about our child’s motivations and thought processes as well.

There are times when being curious about the gray areas of our own lives stops us from assuming that everything is black or white when managing situations in our families.

The Recap

So let’s recap. The three ways that you can bring more humanness to your parenting.

  1. Start with empathy, not just for others but also for yourself. When you have a self-empathy and you understand that you’re human and sometimes you’re not always doing it 100%, you can also open that same understanding to other people and say hey it’s okay that they are not always being a hundred percent as well.
  2. Think about our emotional range and the fact that nobody lives in the extreme happiness or in the extreme sadness. Our emotions are fluid; they go back and forth; we vacillate between all these emotions on a daily basis.
  3. Being cautious of staying in that black and white thinking. Definitely knowing the difference between right versus wrong, but understanding that you – and your children, your partner, your family – all live in that grey area sometimes, especially as you’re all trying to be holy and authentically human.

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