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In this episode of The Family Couch we chat with Heather Von St. James about how to talk to our children through difficult times, her shocking battle with plueral mesothelioma, and the steps any parent or family member can take to open the lines of communication to create a safe environment for a child during difficult times.
We jump right in with Heather sharing her story as a mom and cancer survivor She was given only three and a half months to live and decided that just was not acceptable. With a new baby, Heather explains that she could not imagine leaving her family behind – it was not an option.
She explains the importance of asking for help when you need it and why you need a village you can depend on when you are going through a difficult time. We discuss how being honest with children during trying times came make the all the difference with a child’s understanding and long term coping. Circumstances can change without warning. By sharing what is going on (as much as the child can handle) you can prepare everyone for what could happen, instead of keeping them in the dark until it is too late.
We dive into the importance of not living in fear, no matter what the outcome may be be for fearful events. Heather shares real life events with her daughter (who is currently 11 years old) and how she managed difficult topics like cancer, death, family turmoil and more. Children are more intuitive than we realize and by trusting this process with honesty we empower children to handle the situation head on.
We discuss how a support system can come together to help children. When it is the parent that is going experiencing the event, such as cancer, offering a safe outlet for your child to reach out provides security. Heather explains that the village should come together to make sure everyone’s language is on the same page.
Lastly, we talk about the simple importance of communication. Just talking. Push away everything else and just open the lines of communication step by step and remove the blocks that are present. By creating the moments to have a conversation with your child, i.e. going for a drive together, you will be able to start the process of sharing with your child.
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GUEST BIO:
In 2005, at the age of 36, and only three months after giving birth to her beautiful daughter Lily Rose, Heather was diagnosed with pleural mesothelioma. Upon learning of this life-altering diagnosis, Heather and her husband Cameron embarked upon a search to find the best mesothelioma treatment care available. Our search eventually led us to Dr. David Sugarbaker, a renowned mesothelioma surgeon at the Boston based Brigham and Women’s hospital.
Today, she is an 11-year mesothelioma cancer survivor and have made it her mission to help other mesothelioma victims around the globe. She shares her personal story to help spread hope and awareness for others going through this, in hopes that one day no one else will have to.
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CONNECT WITH HEATHER VON ST. JAMES:
Website: https://www.mesothelioma.com/heather/#.WWVhudPyuu4
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HeatherVonStJames
Twitter: https://twitter.com/HeatherVSJ
Google: https://plus.google.com/101211470879899969185
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RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Camp Kasem – http://campkesem.org/
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Want to be on The Family Couch or know someone who would be a great guest? Email us at mercedes@shameproofparenting.com
