Episode 23: Parenting The Traumatized Child

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In this episode of The Family Couch we chat with Laura Reagan, a clinical social worker, who will be talking with us about parenting traumatized children and what we can do to help them. Laura defines trauma as anytime you feel helpless, in danger, or may even believe someone else is in danger. In a nutshell, it is anytime your safety is questioned.

We discuss the different types of trauma and how it can impact a child. Traumatic situations occur daily in childhood (ex. Witnessing a scary situation). However, how the child reacts, is comforted, how the child’s community responds is going to impact whether or not this will create a lasting traumatic impression in the future. Past beliefs suggest that “because children are young they will not remember” when, in fact, children depend on adults to keep them safe and need an adult to explain and provide an outlet to share.

We dive into the common signs that a child may show if they do not feel safe after a traumatic event. Laura shares behaviors that parents can look for if concerned: acting out in school, isolating themselves from friends, suddenly very fearful, or increasingly very safety conscious. On the flip side, if you are not sure if your child has had a traumatic event, look for a shift behavior. For example, bullying (sometimes even the child does not realize they are being bullied) can be from a traumatizing event. Laura suggested that if the child shifts from normal behavior that you should pause, ask open ended questions and allow your children to respond so you can see if there is an event that may have occurred.

We discuss the next steps for a child who has had a shift in behavior and what would be best for him/her. Laura states that if you are not sure what has happened and where it is coming from the best thing you can do for the child would be to seek counseling. She shares how important it is for the parent to look at this as an option if they are worried for their children. Often times a child hides their true feelings and worries so to protect their parents from the pain and struggles they are going through – the trauma could be worse than you even realize.

Last, we share how you can easily seek out a counselor in a safe and protected environment. Laura shares that the important part is setting up the appointment and as the adult, being honest on when and where you saw a shift in behavior. Regardless of how trivial or far back you noticed the change, the counselor will be able to use that information and be able to help your child. Chances are the small things that seem out of place are actually what could have been the traumatic event (a sleepover a friends house, a distant relative passing away months ago, etc).

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Laura Reagan is a Maryland Licensed Certified Social Worker – Clinical. She is also a Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator. Laura has completed Sensorimotor Psychotherapy Level 1 training and uses this somatic (body-based) method in her work to help resolve trauma. Laura holds Master of Social Work (MSW) degree from the University of Maryland School of Social Work. Laura has an advanced postgraduate training in trauma from the Ferentz Institute.

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