Episode 25: The Ups and Downs of Parenting A Child With Special Needs

In this episode of The Family Couch we chat with Holly Moses, a Board Certified Behavior Analyst, Licensed Professional Counselor, and Licensed Psychological Associate, who talks with us about how to support parents who are raising children who have special needs. Holly specializes in parenting stress, Anxiety, ADHD, and Autism.

We dive right into a sensitive subject: the difficulties that parents face in the school system dealing with the “red tape’ and paperwork that is associated with a raising a special needs child. From IEPs to 504’s we cover top tips and strategies for how to handle these meetings to help prepare you to get the most out of your meetings and get the best care for your child. Top tip: Holly recommends bringing a friend or even hiring an advocate to come to the meetings with you to have a support system so that you can be the parent during an emotionally trying time.

Next, Holly and I recall the differences in the school system from our youth to how classes are set up now. We discuss how culturally we have made significant changes to mainstream any child that has been diagnosed as ‘special needs’ but that our work is not done. Our history shows segregation in classrooms, a lack of understanding, and general belief that special needs children are “bad.” We now know that there are chemical imbalances and actual diseases that cannot be ignored. Improvements have been made but there is a lot of room for growth.

We dive into how parenting a child with ADHD or Autism can impact your own health. Holly shares how research supports stress levels are much higher for parents who are raising a special needs child. She divulges personal parenting experiences where as a mother she was judged for her child’s behavior and what options there are as a parent. From lashing out to ignoring, Holly explains that the options may not be easy as a parent of a special needs child but we have to make the one that is right for us in that moment. Taking the time to educate an uninformed parent on how a “normal looking” child does have a chemical imbalance that impacts behavior goes a long way to shape the way our society views that silent disease.

Lastly we work through solutions for parents who need a break and additional strategies for how to advocate for your child. Explaining how important this time is, Holly shares tips on how to take time for yourself. From turning to family to help with care to swapping time with other special needs families we chat about how even a trip to the grocery store alone can be a luxury if timed right! Other options include hiring a respite worker or even bringing in help to the house while you stay in it! Taking the additional time needed to talk through what your child needs at every meeting with the school system, regardless of if you feel like a nuisance is worth the time. Holly (and I) urge to to advocate – you and your child deserve it.

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Holly Blanc Moses is a Board Certified Behavior Analyst, Licensed Professional Counselor, and Licensed Psychological Associate with 18 years’ experience in ADHD, Autism and anxiety. Her specialty areas include challenging behavior, social skills deficits, independence and academic problems.

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