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In this episode of The Family Couch, we chat with Dr. Abi Weissman and discuss the trans-identity, what looks like in the professional world and how to bring awareness and knowledge to the understanding of the transgender world.
We start off by discussing what it means to be under the “trans-umbrella.” Dr. Weissman explains that it depends on the person. She defines it as anyone who is assigned a gender at birth that is different than the gender they identify with now. She explains that there are so many varieties of genders and many terms that can be used to identify one’s gender. On her intake sheet, Dr. Weissman leaves a blank line that encourages her clients to the identify the sex that best fits them. Examples include agender, demi-boy, demi-girl, femme, butch–all of which take on different meanings with regard to ethnicty, race, age, etc.
We next dive into whether there is a hierarchy within the transgender community with regard to race and culture. Dr. Weissman gives the example of a black person who is assigned female at birth and identifies as a man and how his identity and power in society is changed by being a black man instead of black woman. She shares that her mini-specialty is around people who are Jewish and transgender, and how their roles and societal expectations change based on identifying as a man or woman.
We then discussed the different religious aspects of being transgender in today’s society. Dr. Weissman enjoys working with people who have religion and gender/sexuality in their life. She believes that you don’t have to give up on your religion and can embrace all parts of life as a transgender person.
Dr. Weissman then explained the difference between gender identity and sexual orientation. Sexual orientation refers to who you are attracted to and the behavioral aspect of your romantic interests, sexual acts, etc. One’s gender identity is what your sense of self is in terms of your gender. There can be a sense of pride or shame in being identified, but it is more about how comfy you feel in your own skin. She explained that the best way to be supportive of individuals in the transgender community depends on the person and what they need. Dr. Weissman wants an ally who is willing to be mislabeled as transgender without having to come out and say they’re straight. Others want to have their own voice heard.
Finally, we discussed what a professional, family member, parent, or other person watching who wants to know what they can do next to be understanding and supportive. Dr. Weissman said that being transgender is still stigmatized, so if someone is able to share with you who they are, take a deep breath and thank them for sharing.
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GUEST BIO:
Dr. Weissman is a clinical psychologist in California who founded Waves, A Psychological Corporation. She primarily works with people who identify as transgender and those that love them. Her special focus is on people who identify as queer and people who are social justice-minded. She received her Doctorate of Clinical Psychology from the American School for Professional Psychology at Argosy University.
She helps people who wish they could see their full queer, transgender, religious, liberal, polyamorous and/or kink selves but hold themselves back because they are scared they will be unloved, unemployed, and rejected by their loved ones or communities. Dr. Weissman considers herself an empowering supporter and self-love affirmer and encourages her clients to share their deepest wishes so they can learn to be happy being themselves.
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RESOURCES/LINKS:
- Website: http://doctorabi.com
- Phone: 619-403-5578, 8am-8pm PST
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Want to be on The Family Couch or know someone who would be a great guest? Email us at mercedes@shameproofparenting.com
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The Family Couch show notes transcribed and formatted by: Amy Lockrin
