Episode 32: Using Love & Intention As Tools For Activism

In this episode of The Family Couch with Jillian Roth, a Mommapreneur and Love Leader, we talk about family, parenting and intentional justice.

We dive right in to discuss what it means to be an activist today….and what it means to bring this activism into the family.  Roth believes work begins with one’s self and expands outward.  It’s a continuous process.  She explains that in her journey to becoming a mother, and being a queer family, she had to go a nontraditional route.  Her identity was central to that.  She and her wife chose an anonymous donor whose identity will be released to their daughter when she turns 18.  This was important to them because they didn’t want to take away that part of who she is.  They have had conversations with their daughter about being a two-mom family and discussed what the difference looks like compared to other families so she can discuss it herself.  Roth feels that the best way we can love and honor ourselves is knowing who we are.  

We next discuss how one can be an activist in her community on top of the demands of being being a parent. Roth explains that if it feels like a struggle, you can make it a long-term goal, and suggests tapping into what your heart is telling you you want to do in this time.  Creativity flourishes in despair, and we can choose how we want to show up.  She suggests thinking about what it is you want for your family.  If you want more intentional conversations about culture and community, bring it into the home.  Roth suggests books as a way to do this.

For over a decade, Roth has been engaged in social justice work, and she reached a point where it felt like a grind and wondered at what point she would get to celebrate something that felt like justice.  She feels that there is justice in setting a goal or intention and moving toward it.  Her background is in sports psychology, so she really relates to setting a goal.  Roth defines intentional justice as bite-size deliberate daily action.  This means you take baby steps to get closer to your goal.  

We shift into discussing how privilege can be a barrier to intentional justice.  Privilege can help or hinder attempts for intentional justice.  Roth advises that there doesn’t need to be shame around it–own your story and know where you stand.  It doesn’t make you a bad person.  She poses the question of if you raise your consciousness and you know something can be different, will you choose to be different or settle and let it serve yourself?  

Next we talked about how you can model intentional justice for children.  Roth suggests going through an exercise that you can sign up for through her website called the Intentional Justice Identity Table.  She recommends having the parent or professional do it themselves first, and then as you get comfortable with your own identity, you can expand into a family identity.  It is appropriate for approximately fifth grade and up.  She feels that by this age you have a sense of who you are and how you want to show up to your classmates.

Finally, we discuss how to maintain intentional justice when people in your support circle don’t understand your viewpoints or how to accept or respect your perspective.  Roth doesn’t feel like an expert.  She has had to make difficult choices and is currently not speaking to a few family members as a result of having to claim where she stands.  Roth gets support from a couple’s therapist, a support network of mentors, “besties”, and her tribe.  She explains that she can’t expect her wife, bestie, or other parents to show up at drop of a hat, though, and advises that  you have to also love yourself like a mother.  It’s important to have a community but there are moments you’re by yourself, which can be empowering.  Intentional justice doesn’t always mean you have to agree and stay around people who only agree with you and respect you.  Going through your own journey helps you turn the injustices into moments that are opportunities for learning, healing and growing.  It’s an upward spiral–as you get to know yourself, you may have some breakthroughs but the work does not end.  

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GUEST BIO:

Jillian Roth describes herself as a black queer mommapreneur, wife and love leader.  She has a two-year-old daughter.  She brings her love leadership into the world as an equity and inclusion strategist, mama mindset coach, and tech maven.  She uses identity as a starting point to unlock clients’ authenticity, and guides them through a journey to explore the various dimensions of their personal and social identities to know and love themselves the way they dream and deserve.

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CONNECT WITH JILLIAN ROTH:

WEBSITE: http://mamajlove.com/

INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/mamajlove1/

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/MamaJLove/

TWITTER: https://twitter.com/mamajlove1

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RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Todd Parr Books on Amazon  

Bell Hooks Books on Amazon

Intentional Justice Identity Table

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Please share in the comments what you think about the episode, questions you have about the topic, and any other comments you’d like to share.

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Want to be on The Family Couch or know someone who would be a great guest? Email us at mercedes@shameproofparenting.com

 

3 thoughts on “Episode 32: Using Love & Intention As Tools For Activism”

  1. Mama J says:

    Thanks for having me on your virtual couch!

    In lovelution…

    1. So happy to have had you on as a guest! You are doing important work! Keep shining!

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