My Favorite Four Letter Word

parenting, , parenting skills, parenting, parent coach, parent coach los angeles, parent coach orange county, parent skills, mercedes samudio lcswWhile at a networking event for woman entrepreneurs one woman got up to talk about her journey as an entrepreneur and how it felt to conquer the ebbs and flows of her business. She ended her testimony about the power of networking and supporting others by saying that her favorite four letter word was hope! And when she said that, I felt this surge of emotion shoot through my body, like I had been hit with a ton of awesome. I realized that my favorite four letter word was also hope and I knew exactly why!

In the work that I do I get to see families transform. I have seen parents learn to support their children in non-judging ways. I have witnessed children heal from their parent’s separation. I have been blessed to watch a parent adamant about spanking shift her discipline strategies to completing getting rid of physical punishment. I have watched families torn apart by divorce and separation learn to communicate in ways that provide the children with a nurturing environment. And, I have had the privilege of seeing families healed and reunited when separated by child protective services. Witnessing this kind of transformation in a family can only leave you with a sense of awe and hope.

On the other hand, I still see and hear people talk about change as if it is elusive and impossible. I hear people say that parents cannot change and they should have their children taken away for how they treat them. Or, I hear such harsh judgments about parents who aren’t good enough to care for their children. These types of comments hurt me to the core. While I know that some parents are in dire need of support and help to change the way they view child raising, I have not resolved that they are beyond help. I have not given up on the family that is raising children with the faulty ideas about child raising passed on to them from their parents. And, I have not given up hope that we can protect children by helping their parents feel confident about their parenting.

For the most part, I have seen the horrors of ineffective child raising. I have lived it myself. But, I have also seen the triumphant change support and guidance can produce for  a family coping with trauma and cycles of violence. I cannot save every child or every family. But, I can share empathy and patience with the families I come in contact with to show them that they can make a lasting change.

To me, hope is not about being complacent or giving parents a pass for being ineffective in their child raising. Hope means challenging what you are doing as a parent and really looking at the effectiveness of your parenting. I like to ask the following questions of my parents, and I challenge you to ask yourself:

  • Is my parenting effective?
  • Is my parenting nurturing healthy development in my child?
  • How can I be more effective in how I raise my child?
  • Do I need help/support when tackling a certain behavior or issue with my child?
  • Can I keep parenting this way and maintain my mental/emotional health?

These are some deep questions, and I encourage you to write down your answers. If you need help processing them – that’s what a parent coach is for. But, if you can begin to process them on your own and can bring yourself to be reflective in your parenting, then you can also begin to bring hope into your family’s healing.

My favorite four letter word is hope because I believe in lasting change for you and your family. I believe that struggling to raise a child in today’s world does not have to be such a frustrating burden. And, I believe that you can feel more confident in your parenting and the way you nurture your family.

I challenge you to build hope into your parenting, and make it your favorite four letter too!

2 thoughts on “My Favorite Four Letter Word”

  1. Jessica says:

    I like this

    1. Woohoo! Thanks for sharing, Jessica! I like this post too! 🙂

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